who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
