A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize