your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
