she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Can't talk, ducks in the car
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
