I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
