When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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