your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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