I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize