Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
