Pappa wants mamma naked
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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