But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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