alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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