have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
