just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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