watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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