So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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