Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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