Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
