i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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