You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
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Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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