you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
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