Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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