Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Duck Duck Cougar?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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