I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
NoShamevember. You game?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Randomize
