I'm jealous of your bromance
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
