South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
