A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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