she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
