I am spending my child support on dildos
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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