New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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