Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
