I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
