Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
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