never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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