You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
