the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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