so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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