Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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