i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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