R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
