dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
