He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
