Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Operation Purity has been aborted
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
