So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
