I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize