i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize