it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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