after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I have fence marks all over my body
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
