we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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