guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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