there was a trapeze. enough said
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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