just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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