the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
