They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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