Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
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my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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