just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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