omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
